Saix Report Volume 1
by J Baccara
Summary: A Fan Fiction pertaining to Kingdom Hearts II. The story line is loosely based off of actual cosplay events.


_July 11, 2008 _

_Friday--_

_I suppose you could say it all started out like any other day off, waking up to the horrible sound of a buzzing alarm, tossing it against the wall and sleeping till the late hours of the day…or in this case about eleven A.M. Usually I make good use of my days off…most of which are spent either wandering about Addled Impasse, or various others parts of the castle. Unfortunately today was a little different. Originally I had planned to wander up the Naught skyway for a time…perhaps go into town for a bit, but instead, as I was about to leave I happened to run into…..a disturbance. If you want to call it such. _

_Apparently Xemnas had been assigning missions to some of my subordinates. Something about collecting a variety of special synthetic items for his own purposes. One of which was located somewhere in the vicinity of Destiny Islands. Which according to some, played host to a specially nasty variety of heartless this time of year. _

_Now anyone with half a brain would be fully aware that Destiny Island is completely void of heartless, __but_ considering who was appointed for this mission. I don't understand Xemnas's motives half the time. I really truly don't. Demyx…of all nobodies…..Demyx…..need I write any more?

Making the mistake of taking the skyway I just happened to run into him standing there whining to himself about how he really didn't want to go on this mission. I don't know what compelled me to stand there and listen to him but a few seconds later he was practically clinging to my coat begging me to go with him.

According to him Larxene, who had apparently been to the island recently; informed him prior that the place was loaded with powerful lightning based heartless. Honestly sometimes I'd like to wring her neck. Unfortunately Demyx didn't seem to believe me when I told him how full of crap Larxene's claims usually are. Once again after a great deal of whining and pleading, I found myself giving in to number IX just to make him shut up. Not that I really had anything better to do anyway.

Destiny Island is always jam packed this time of year not to mention swelteringly hot, which was just terrific considering our attire. Demyx didn't have any complaints what so ever, because according to the mission card, the item needed for Synthesis would be found off the jetties on the beach. Probably why he was picked for the mission in the first place….I suppose.

Personally I'm not to fond of water…but once again when you've dealt with Demyx as long as I have you learn it's better just to appease him. The beach was practically filled with people. Most dressed in what one would assume suitable for ninety plus weather. The looks the two of us received were to say the least uncomfortable. Of course the Nocturne didn't seem to notice, splashing around in the water as if he were actually enjoying himself….sometimes I wonder.

We must have combed the beach at least three times over….well at least I did. Demyx seemed more concentrated on pretending to actually be somebody, then focusing on his own mission which essentially turned into mine after the first ten minutes. Unfortunately this so called synthesis item was not entirely something you come across out of the blue. Demyx had told me it was some kind of Aqua gem, which meant tromping around in knee deep tide pools for something no bigger then a single piece of munny, while number IX went swimming.

Two hours later and quiet a lot of unnecessary aggravation I decided I wanted to get another look at this these so called…orders. After forcing Demyx to show me his info card, and examining it for a moment I realized the brutal truth of the matter. Someone had duped number IX and whoever it was got me dragged into it. The card was real enough but that was in no way, shape, or form Xemnas's hand writing. I recognized it almost instantly….Larxene.

Not only had she totally lied to Demyx about the world being infested with heartless, she'd gotten the both of us to come out here looking for an item that simply didn't exist. By now I was ready to pretty much explode, and that is no understatement. Forcing Demyx out of the water, I tried my best to keep calm and explain the situation. Apparently he didn't seem to care either way. He was…having fun a term I'd come to dislike with great intensity. Although now my motives turned towards Larxene.

She had been sent to Twilight town that evening to recover a REAL item for Xemnas…the perfect opportunity to turn the tables in my opinion. Figuring since Demyx had already ruined my day off, I decided he was coming with me whether he liked it or not. Maybe I'd make him fight some real heartless just to show him up for that comment about fun. But first…Larxene.

I wasn't entirely sure where she'd be, but I had a pretty good , and sure enough, it proved to be as such. The Twilight town Synthesis Market was well known for it's unique items. Knowing quiet well Demyx would only get in the way. I let him wander up to the train station for some ice cream. It was against my better judgment but, seeing as I'd spotted Larxene I figured it would leave us time to…..chat. I won't get into the messy details but she eventually came clean after I confronted her on the whole fake letter form Xemnas. According to her it was supposed to be a joke…I didn't find it to funny. I would have liked to have given her what for right there in the center of town but lucky for her, 1. The moon wasn't out, and 2. Xigbar happened to show up while we were arguing, bringing news of REAL orders and tossing in the fact Demyx was well on his way putting the ice cream manufacture out of business.

I will not repeat the pandemonium that transpired when we finally found Demyx, but I will tell you Larxene was extremely lucky I was the one who had aloud him to get ice cream in the first place. Which in simpler terms meant, I didn't got to the superior about her little….joke, she would keep her mouth shut about this. Xigbar thought the whole thing was hysterical. Having a good laugh himself before relaying orders to the three of us.

According to him, there was a fair being hosted that night at the Twilight town Sandlot. Xemnas had given orders for a group of us, and a handful of lessers to crash the party. Normally I probably wouldn't have agreed, but after the whole ordeal with Larxene I felt I could tolerate giving someone a good beat down. The four of us decided amongst one another we would relinquish the rest of our night to carrying out the order. Zexion had apparently gotten wind of the idea from Xigbar, previously; figuring the fair might be a good opportunity to conduct some experiments he had decided to tag along for the ride. Which naturally, meant Xigbar, Demyx, and Larxene all hung around Twilight town while I went back to the castle to give Xemnas the news. Or rather inform him we'd taken the job.

He didn't really seem to care all that much…never does, but he permitted it, and after locating Zexion the two of us returned to Twilight town to meet up with the others. Before crashing the fair we decided it would be best to come up with a proper plan of attack. Zexion would take care of getting us in unnoticed, he was pretty good with that. Larxene's job was to cut the power and tend to those who were on the rides. Xigbar was on police detail, and I had ground combat. As for Demyx…..well let me put it this way. While the four of us were ripping the place to shreds (well..three of us, Zexion just kind of watched after a while, ) number IX was busy trying to cover his sitar in cotton candy………………………………...

Alright, so all things considered the plan went pretty damn well. I shouldn't really complain. By dark nearly everyone had either been scattered, killed, or became new additions to the Organizations ever growing dusk population. It was here where things started to get…a little crazy. See, apparently both Xigbar and Demyx had found the whole…cotton candy ordeal funny as hell, which eventually lead to number II joining IX in the insanity.

As for Larxene, Zexion and myself we really had no desire to partake in such things. Instead we were left to determine where to go from there. The options were, return to home base for new orders, lounge around for a while…or…play hooky.

Personally I was really tired of taking orders on my day off. As for Zexion and Larxene…well…they seemed to be eyeing a particularly brutal looking spinning ride, now completely abandoned. When I foolishly addressed them in hopes of getting a second opinion, their attentions turned towards me.

The look on Zexion's face said it all….They were going to try and force me onto that thing and, I really had no choice at this point. Having no desire to wind up writhing about on the floor from Lexicon damage I decided it was probably for the best if I simply appeased them. I told them I'd get on one ride if they'd leave me alone afterwards. Both obliged, but not before making a bet as to whether or not I'd wind up sick afterwards. Thank god Luxord was not a part of this. That would have been so much worse.

Larxene wagered it'd take ten minutes, Zexion figured only about two. Now knowing me it'd take about point ten seconds. I hate spinning things. By no means was I going to throw up but disorientation set on pretty quickly. I protested at great length but in the end I wound up being strapped into the damn thing along with the other too while Xigbar and Demyx stood there giggling their asses off.

I had no intentions of getting into a scrap with Zexion that night….not to mention I'm almost entirely sure both Xigbar and Larxene would have ganged up and forced me on anyhow. Still once Larxene began to override the system and make it spin I kind of wished I had.

Long story short….Zexion won the bet and afterwards I have to say I'd have probably been better off fighting the little bastard. Demyx and Xigbar found it side splittingly funny, and even Larxene seemed to enjoy watching me stagger around slurring my words, while trying to keep my balance. The worst part….we weren't even supposed to be there, so if I went to the superior about it….It would be my ass as well.

Having no desire to retell something like this to the rest of the Organization…(which was probably going to happen anyway considering Demyx had witnessed it) I kept my mouth shut and stood there for a few minutes trying to get back to the planet. Meanwhile Xigbar had taken to wandering about after a few minutes of snooping, he discovered a garage door that had been left slightly ajar, belonging to a house at the back of the sandlot. Being Xigbar he had to see what was behind it, and when he pulled the gate up we soon realized we were staring at what had to have been over 10,000 munny's worth of fireworks and explosives.

All five of us went silent upon witnessing it, although most likely for a variety of different reasons.

Xigbar was the first to voice his opinion. According to him why let the humans enjoy setting them off. Xemnas hadn't give us a time limit. Zexion didn't show any signs of objection to setting them off ourselves. Demyx was with Xigbar a hundred percent, and Larxene was still sore about losing the bet. All eyes were on me as it as technically only my approval they needed. If none of us went back, none of us would get in trouble. At least that was Xigbar's logic.

Thinking it over for a moment I had to assess the situation. After all the hell I'd been through that night. Did I really want to go through more? Then again if I went back the others would surely pitch a fit. Blackmail was usually best left unopened, in Organization XIII. I figured going back would mean trouble and once again. It was my day off. I don't think I'd ever seen any of them more surprised. The initial reactions were something like. Holy shit, did Saix just agree to going against orders.

Technically speaking we were still on duty as long as we were at the fair. Sure it was cheating, but I figured _I _could probably talk my way out of it with Xemnas, worse case scenario. After a rather long silence and a number of comments exchanged between IX and II, we removed the fireworks from the garage and strategically positioned them around the sandlot. It took about an hour. Once we were finally done positioning them all Larxene threw out the offer of stealing some ice cream while we set them off.

None of us objected, of course none of us were going to actually go get it. Apparently Larxene was actually interested in her idea, because when we all objected to trekking up to the train station for it, she went herself. Once she'd left the general vicinity Xigbar through out and idea. Why don't we go to the top of the clock tower for a better view. Having an attribute like Space manipulation came in handy seeing as he could set them off without actually having to be there. Zexion and Demyx didn't seem to object, and personally the higher up the better in my opinion.

It was only when we actually got there did we realize Larxene had no idea where we'd gone. Normally taking into consideration her vicious tendency and threats to rat out everyone who double crosses (how ironic) I probably would have gone back to give her our location. Only thinking back on it I came to realize she was probably going to be the one to get in the most trouble if we were found out. After all forging the superiors handwriting…yikes. Sure there was that whole instance with the ice cream but technically if Larxene hadn't written up fares orders neither of us would have been here.

Besides we had positioned the explosives so that the moon would become the center of their activity when they went up. And I really had no desire to go anywhere. Especially since we had front row seating. Once Xigbar started to set them off the four of us fell dead silent. Everyone seemed to be enthralled by them. I suppose it was one of those dear in the headlight moments. The dusks were watching too, if one cared to notice the tiny white specks at the bottom of the tower. I have to admit using the moon as the centerpiece was a fairly good idea, and by the time it was all over none of us felt any urge to do anything other then sit there and watch the remaining trails of dust spiral down from the sky masking the moon in a deep golden haze.

surprisingly enough it was over an hour before anyone spoke up again. Demyx was the first to break silence. Mentioning the fact that Larxene was probably still down there wondering where in the Sam hell we'd gone. That seemed to jolt everyone back down to earth (including myself) considerably fast. Knowing Larxene she was probably back at the castle making up some ridiculous story and spoon feeding it to Xemnas. The four of us just sort of exchanged glances…all very much aware of the same thing. I don't think I've ever pulled up a portal so fast. We were back at the castle so quickly it probably would have killed anyone unfamiliar to using the corridors of darkness. But when we got there something…was off. The room where nothing gathers was completely abandoned, well save for the four of us. I suppose we'd all had the same idea of where to look because there we all were standing there wondering where the hell everyone else was and why no one seemed to notice our absence.

Deliberating it for a moment it was Zexion's idea that we split up and search the castle although only after coming up with an identical alibi incase Larxene had already reached the superior. The whole thing went something like this. The five of us had crashed the fair although amidst the chaos someone had accidentally trigged off a garage full of fireworks. This lead to a massive outbreak of heartless in the area and resulted in our prolonged absence.

Sure it was a bullshit excuse, but seeing as time was not on our side, it was the best we could come up with on such short notice. After establishing the alibi, each of us were appointed a different section of the castle to search. Xigbar took off toward the hall of empty melodies, Zexion took the Proof of Existence chamber, Demyx was sent to the skyway…and as figured I had to go to the Alter. Which is of course where we all knew Xemnas would be. As per usual I was the one getting the short end of the stick and sure enough at the top of the alter there was Xemnas….along with many of the others and a good deal more then I'd bargained for.

Apparently Luxord had decided it was a good night to throw a party and what's a party without rum right? Well I'll tell you approaching Xemnas was more then a little unnerving, especially seeing as Larxene was standing over in the corner a look of absolute rage spread across her face. I could only imagine the hell she'd gotten, and she got back first. Looking up at Kingdom Hearts I held my breath and addressed him just as the other three appeared at the base of the alter.

Slowly he turned around to face me, already I could tell something wasn't quiet right. For one thing, there was an enormous smile plastered across his face, and if that didn't scream trouble the half empty bottle of rum clutched in his hand pretty much summed it up. I suppose the look on my face must have been absolute shock at that point, because almost everyone else seemed to burst out laughing as Xemnas laid a hand on my shoulder and staggered for a moment mumbling incomprehensibly. Something about Luxord and to much drinking in the castle.

Knowing quiet well it'd be a death wish to confront the superior on his sanity at the moment I simply stood there nodded my head and glanced back at Zexion, Demyx and Xigbar, who were apparently the only others not either completely wasted or simply enjoying watching Xemnas's reaction. Then again…they looked pretty amused. After slapping me on the back Xemnas made his way over to the other three. Both Xigbar and Zexion held their composure. Demyx on the other hand was laughing like a hyena.

This bold move seemed to single him out from the rest of us. Staggering over to him, Xemnas clapped him on the back as if he were an old friend. This instantly silence number IX as Xemnas went on to comment about how we needed more respect amongst the Organization members, and how Demyx needed to learn to stop pretending to have a heart. The speech as I recall went something along the lines of. "You see what I mean? We're nobodies for Christ sakes, we're not supposed to show any kind of emotion and yet this idiot right here can laugh his ass off at absolutely nothing. And who was the one who decided to set off the fireworks in Twilight town?" he'd asked after picking him apart in a sort of playful manor.

Apparently Larxene had indeed gotten to him first, and our initial reaction was to pretty much fall ultimately silent and hope to hell no one said a word. Exchanging glances all eyes apparently fell on me. Once again it's assumed it's my job to deliver the explanation. Approaching the superior I began to attempt to explain when he turned to me before exclaiming what a brilliant idea it had been and how he would have enjoyed being there to witness it himself.

By now the only thing we could do was try to keep our mouths from hanging open. Never in the time I'd been with the Organization had I known Xemnas to drink, let alone condone the use of it. He was always reprimanding Luxord about it, and seeing just how freaking wasted he was completely astounded me. And apparently the others as well who seemed completely mind blown at the way our superior was acting. Even Demyx, who doesn't exist on this planet in the first place was completely silent for once in his non-existence, and that was truly saying something.

Standing there for a moment, Xemnas suddenly thrust the bottle of rum into my hands. "Saix," he said attempting to sound somewhat authoritative. "You know, you should really lighten up a bit. Be more like these guys. You know don't be so damn serious all the time. Finish this off for me will you? It'll help, you'll see." Clapping me on the back as he had Demyx he turned and began to stagger off. I actually attempted to say something although I was quickly cut off as he looked back, stumbling over his own feet and motioning for me to drink the rest of the rum.

There was a long silence between the four of us…those who'd witnessed it. Namely Axel, everyone else was pretty wasted was bent over in hysterics. Putting the rum bottle down on a nearby table I got off the alter as fast as I possibly could pushing passed Zexion and the others who we're just about ready to explode despite their lack of emotions. Once again I will probably never hear the end of that.

It didn't take long for the others to follow me back down to crocked ascension which was where I stopped to reassess myself. Xigbar and Demyx were giggling about it like preschoolers, Zexion on the other hand had a little more class. He attempted to calm me down although anyone who's been in the Organization long enough knew that was quiet a difficult thing to do. Eventually the suggestion to go down into town was thrown out there. Xemnas had equip our world with a number of interesting shops and restaurants when he had originally began to construct it using Kingdom Hearts. Of course most were dusk operated but that really made little difference to any of us.

It was Zexion's idea, as he figured it was probably for the best we took some time away from the castle for a while. Especially after what had just happened. Not to mention the look on Larxene's face. Which I'd happened to have caught once or twice when we were up there. Clearly whatever happened she didn't get what she was hoping for. And seeing as how wasted almost all of them were I had a sneaking suspicion most of them wouldn't remember the events that transpired come morning. Therefore it was probably best not to linger around.

Taking Zexion up on the offer, the four of us decided to go into town and get something to eat. Obviously there weren't going to be any more orders tonight, so we figured it wouldn't very well matter if we simply took it easy for a while. Zexion picked the place, a small bar near the Memory Skyscraper, which wasn't all that bad considering it was run by dusks. None of us drank that night, but we all got something from the menu. Zexion and I were the only two who actually got real food. Demyx and Xigbar got a shake and some curly fries.

Of course like always they all stopped eating to watch me inhale my food in about ten seconds. Apparently it's something of a sport now, watching me eat. I don't see what's funny about the fact that I burn energy at a surprising rate, but apparently everyone else find's it hilarious. I suppose it could have been worse…Axel could have been there.

After a while the place got really boring and we all decided to simply wander around the streets. Usually it's almost always raining in our world, but tonight was different. Tonight you could actually see Kingdom Hearts quiet well. Wandering around through the streets we stopped at a park to regroup for a while. There were no heartless or lessers in sight so naturally we figured it was as good a place as any. Following Zexion, the two of us sat down at the old swing set, while Demyx and Xigbar began to chase each other around like morons.

Staring off into space for a while I asked Zexion why Xemnas ever decided to stick a park like this into the worlds design. I think he tried explaining it to me but my attention was lost to Kingdom Hearts after about a minute. See being a walking encyclopedia when you asked Zexion a question instead of simply responding he would give you the multiplex theater version of your answer. And apparently there was nothing he didn't know. Or couldn't look up in that Lexicon of his.

After all while he apparently noticed I wasn't paying any attention whatsoever. At which point, he decided he was going to initiate some form of instigation. The next thing I knew I was thrust upwards and sent flying off the front of the swing onto the ground, instantly breaking my concentration on Kingdom Hearts, just in time to see Zexion racing off towards Demyx and Xigbar who, knowing what was coming quickly positioned themselves at the very top of the jungle gym.

Getting to my feet I slowly made my way over to the structure and glared up at Zexion who had apparently just initiated what we usually refer to as a challenge, When there are no heartless around sometimes fellow members of the Organization will challenge each other to a power struggle. In other words and advanced game of cat and mouse, and it looked like I was it.

You couldn't refuse unless you want to get your ass pummeled by whoever challenged you in the first place. And to be perfectly frank I was actually hoping to burn off some energy that night more so then I already had. Within seconds the chase was on. Now taking into consideration each of our abilities and the location we currently found ourselves this was not going to be easy.

Normally in a wide open area escape was pretty much impossible, unfortunately this park was small, and intertwined with odd plastic objects. Which meant a lot of maneuvering something I'm not to good at. Zexion was quiet good with maneuverability and shadows, and seeing as it was pitch black he was well equpit for the location. Xigbar was a hopeless folly, which meant my best bet was to go for Demyx.

Being one of the weakest members of the entire Organization, easily spooked and not to good at keeping off the ground. He was pummeled almost instantly. Xigbar and Zexion found it extremely amusing to watch me go completely Berserk on his ass. Demyx did what he did best. Run away.

After a while the two of the joined in to help Demyx who eventually ran out of breath and probably would have been destroyed if they hadn't intervened. To make a long story short Zexion and Xigbar kept me occupied until my energy ran out, at which point the tables turned and I was the one running to save my ass. Which was especially great considering Kingdom Hearts had faded behind an assortment of rain clouds moving in from the west over the lower side of town. Things continued on like this well into the night, changing hands from Zexion, to Xigbar and myself. Demyx was usually just running for his life. Or so to speak.

It was actually number IX who ended the challenge eventually passing out on the ground at which point we all stopped messing around. After all if Demyx faded it would mean huge problems for us the next morning when we had to explain to an extremely hung over Xemnas why we where one member short.

Relinquishing our weapons we decided it was probably best to return to the castle for the night. Seeing as Demyx was out cold, Xigbar had apparently picked him up and carried him back as if he were a burlap sack. I unfortunately missed it, as I decided to escort Zexion back to castle oblivion before returning to home base for some much needed down time. As predicted the party had ended and by the time I got back everyone was either passed out or helping to clean up.

After everything I'd been through that night the only thing I wanted to do was get some rest. By the time I actually did get to bed it was almost morning…(considering the sun never rises in our world it really made no freaking difference) Friday was usually my day off, but after what transpired that night I think I'd much rather stick to carrying out orders.

Oh, and just for the record two days later when Xemnas actually regained consciousness, he had absolutely no recollection of the events that had transpired that night. And as for Larxene….well…she hasn't spoken to anyone since.


End file.
